"If you get there before I do, don't give up on me.I knew instantly they were a tender notice from the Lord. My Grandpa was on his way back home.
I'll meet you when my chores are through;
I don't know how long I'll be.
But I'm not gonna let you down, darling wait and see.
And between now and then, till I see you again,
I'll be loving you. Love, me."
You see, this song is the same love story between my Grandparents. I've blogged about it before when last April, my Grandma passed away. This song is one of the most beautiful memories I have of them together when we were all driving back from St. George, Utah, when I was about 10.
I called my Grandpa a week ago. No one told me he had been diagnosed with severe dementia. It broke my heart. It was the first time in my lifetime I didn't hear his voice raise with love and joy as he recognized who I was. He had no idea who I was. I sat across from that man and had dinner six months ago and he was all with it. He was "done" with his 91 years of life and missed his wife immensely. But he was totally lucid. I got to tell him we were having our fifth child and then a few months later I got to tell him we were naming her after his wife, my Grandma, of 73 years. And then a week ago, he didn't even know what I was saying, much less remember me. It was a punch to the gut.
I cried. Oh I cried. It tore me to pieces.
Hospice was called late last week. I don't think I've ever asked the Lord to make someone's life end quickly. And I cried even harder.
My Mom just called me and told me my Grandpa is now comatose and the end is very, very close. Again, I asked my Father in Heaven for mercy. Let it be quick.
I prayed that this sweet daughter will have enough time to learn to love him as much as I do. She will know how important they are to me. She's had lots of time with her Grandmas, but I swear, I knew...I had that feeling weeks ago that she would come once he had met her. It's totally selfish, and I realize that. I want her to know them and this is the only way to know that...well, and through my memories.
Oh how I love my Grandparents. I will miss seeing their faces but I know that my family is forever. And we will love each other through all eternity. I am grateful for that knowledge.