So after observation this week, I noticed a couple things:
1) My 10 year old is super social.
2) She has one girl her age who isn't nearly as social.
3) The girls mentioned are a year or two younger than her.
4) There is another set of girls a year older than her.
So, just with those observations, I realized that she is sandwiched between both sets. It puts her in an awkward situation, but temporary.
Thursday, January 21, 2016
Monday, January 11, 2016
Perimeter
Our oldest daughter is 10.
Today, two girls around her age knocked on our front door and hid. I answered (of course), but didn't realize they were hiding, and thought it was weird.
Then about 15 minutes later, they rolled by yelling her name. I saw two of them, told her to hurry outside because these girls were out on their longboards.
She moved quickly to only have the girls board or run away as she went after them. She came to the house in tears asking,
"Mom, why did they run away from me when I was calling their name? Don't they want to play with me?"
My poor heart broke for her.
She isn't "in" with this set of girls her age in the neighborhood. I came to this conclusion over the last few weeks. I have been watching them all interact together when all the Moms get together. She was on the perimeter looking in and I was secretly hoping I was wrong and making a big deal of nothing.
Today just hurt me to watch it.
Now I will never say my child is perfect. I am not perfect and I am the one RAISING her. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree sometimes. She likes to run the show, she can get snappy, many would call her bossy (I call it "potential leadership skills"), and she is a tad bit of a perfectionist.
But never does that mean it is okay to make someone cry.
I can't believe it has started so early.
I think I have empathy for her though. I was never fully "in" the with all the girls at school or church. I seemed to be on the perimeter and the focus of bullying. What am I kidding? I still am on the perimeter. I am really good with it but only as a grown woman because eventually, I realized those people don't change who I am.
I hope this situation helps her. I hope it helps her to make friends with people that make you feel good about yourself and that you want to help feel good about themselves.
I just hope she learns that much, much earlier that I did.
Today, two girls around her age knocked on our front door and hid. I answered (of course), but didn't realize they were hiding, and thought it was weird.
Then about 15 minutes later, they rolled by yelling her name. I saw two of them, told her to hurry outside because these girls were out on their longboards.
She moved quickly to only have the girls board or run away as she went after them. She came to the house in tears asking,
"Mom, why did they run away from me when I was calling their name? Don't they want to play with me?"
My poor heart broke for her.
She isn't "in" with this set of girls her age in the neighborhood. I came to this conclusion over the last few weeks. I have been watching them all interact together when all the Moms get together. She was on the perimeter looking in and I was secretly hoping I was wrong and making a big deal of nothing.
Today just hurt me to watch it.
Now I will never say my child is perfect. I am not perfect and I am the one RAISING her. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree sometimes. She likes to run the show, she can get snappy, many would call her bossy (I call it "potential leadership skills"), and she is a tad bit of a perfectionist.
But never does that mean it is okay to make someone cry.
I can't believe it has started so early.
I think I have empathy for her though. I was never fully "in" the with all the girls at school or church. I seemed to be on the perimeter and the focus of bullying. What am I kidding? I still am on the perimeter. I am really good with it but only as a grown woman because eventually, I realized those people don't change who I am.
I hope this situation helps her. I hope it helps her to make friends with people that make you feel good about yourself and that you want to help feel good about themselves.
I just hope she learns that much, much earlier that I did.
Wednesday, December 30, 2015
Unstructured Structure
That word is not my whole mantra for homeschool. Even it if it was, it is still so vital in our daily curriculum.
One of the greatest assets of homeschooling is unstructured time. This may be time to play, create, draw, paint, think, read, etc. I have found, in the short while we have been homeschooling (plus, 1 year), my children are happier, more willing to learn, and better listeners when I allow them "free time".
Really, I don't "allow" anything. I know when they can't sit still, can't focus, or are being rebellious...we need a break. All of us.
Today is one of those days. I was so frustrated this morning because we were having so many problems from child #2. After pushing, pushing, crying, prodding, I let him take a break. After all, if I push too hard, learning becomes, well, boring.
A friend posted this (or was tagged in this on FB). Thank goodness for social media.
I agree with it fully and know that if it wasn't pouring rain, my children would be outside playing.
Of course, with this weather, they could go out and play in the rain. It is 80 degrees after all.
So I gave them free time.
What are they doing?
The oldest is doing a math "game". This comes from the child that is not a huge fan of math. #winning
Child #2 is reading on Epic. This is such a great site for books you don't have to go the library for. Best $35 we spent and it's been three days...He read/had read to him and entire 8 chapter book on Benjamin Franklin yesterday. It was way above his reading level, so I didn't mind him getting help.
Child #3 did IXL preschool math on her own. I didn't ask her and she wants to finish and get her "medals". She also wrote two letters to her cousin.
Child #4 decided to focus on his Starfall counting. Starfall has been fantastic. I am shocked by the progress the two youngest ones have made in such a short amount of time. Both went from having difficulty identifying letters and numbers (not my finest admission as a parent) two months ago to child #3 being able to write her whole alphabet and #4 can identify the whole alphabet in random order.
One of the greatest assets of homeschooling is unstructured time. This may be time to play, create, draw, paint, think, read, etc. I have found, in the short while we have been homeschooling (plus, 1 year), my children are happier, more willing to learn, and better listeners when I allow them "free time".
Really, I don't "allow" anything. I know when they can't sit still, can't focus, or are being rebellious...we need a break. All of us.
Today is one of those days. I was so frustrated this morning because we were having so many problems from child #2. After pushing, pushing, crying, prodding, I let him take a break. After all, if I push too hard, learning becomes, well, boring.
A friend posted this (or was tagged in this on FB). Thank goodness for social media.
I agree with it fully and know that if it wasn't pouring rain, my children would be outside playing.
Of course, with this weather, they could go out and play in the rain. It is 80 degrees after all.
So I gave them free time.
What are they doing?
The oldest is doing a math "game". This comes from the child that is not a huge fan of math. #winning
Child #2 is reading on Epic. This is such a great site for books you don't have to go the library for. Best $35 we spent and it's been three days...He read/had read to him and entire 8 chapter book on Benjamin Franklin yesterday. It was way above his reading level, so I didn't mind him getting help.
Child #3 did IXL preschool math on her own. I didn't ask her and she wants to finish and get her "medals". She also wrote two letters to her cousin.
Child #4 decided to focus on his Starfall counting. Starfall has been fantastic. I am shocked by the progress the two youngest ones have made in such a short amount of time. Both went from having difficulty identifying letters and numbers (not my finest admission as a parent) two months ago to child #3 being able to write her whole alphabet and #4 can identify the whole alphabet in random order.
Websites
Just so the 2 people reading this want to know all websites we use for our curriuculum:
Starfall $35/year. But there's a monthly payment plan too. Perfect for Pre-K and K (ages 3-5).
IXL This was more expensive because we bought a year in advance with four subjects: math, language arts, science and history ($199/year for "two" children. They have other payment plans too). We'd used this before and loved it for practice. So far, it's been really helpful and the Hubs and I LOVE the analytics we have access to as parents. There's no hiding questionable work and we can see where they need some more help. We require them to show mastery (aka 100 percent & a "medal" before they move on). I let child #3 do work on the other children's profiles because I can still track, compartmentalize, and follow her too.
Epic ($35 for the year) We got this after after purchasing the Reading Rainbow app. This app is perfect for older children and does the same thing (aka read to you) for the young ones like RR. Definitely not as confusing.
Reading Rainbow Don't get reading rainbow if you have older children or have any other tablet than a kindle. It's quite annoying and confusing to use for me as an adult. My children were confused also. I am attempting to get a refund for the year we paid in advance.
Prodigy My children love this game. They were introduced to it at their last public school.
Khan Academy We just started using this. I donated $10 to use it. I'd like to spend more time using it and learning, but I know it will come in handy. Everyone learns concepts differently and this will allow other teaching methods to learn these things.
Our oldest loves chemistry, but I am definitely NOT well versed in chemistry. This was highly recommended by my sister-in-law who has lived all around the world and has/is homeschooling her children. She did have a child just get a ridiculous ACT score and will be starting school at Texas A&M in January, so I believe this has quite a bit of merit...
There is also a random spattering of books, printable worksheets, and other supplements. These are not quite VITAL, but they do help. (Our favorite, simple practice book is the Brain Quest book from Sam's Club. It is probably available on amazon too.)
Thursday, December 24, 2015
Home Birth
Those two words fill my soul with peace and calm.
After our last eventful, uncomplicated birth, and expecting a baby on the island here, my soul started searching. And last week, we got our answer.
Home birth.
If I tell someone here why I am doing this, they look at me like I am from outer space. It is so foreign to many native Puerto Ricans. I have one neighbor that tried to scare me with the "what ifs" and "think of your family". Yes, thank you I have. Another neighbor said it was fantastic. I have a few friends that think it is amazing and others that think I should go back to the mainland to have the baby. I know it is intense. I have done this four times before. It is a process during which my mind focuses on the job that has to get done. It is normal, intense, and awesome when you look back.
Birth here is treated like a disease. Birth is treated like a disease most places. But here, exceptionally so. After research, I discovered several things that are not okay with hospital births here.
No. 1: C-section rate. I read 60 percent in a research paper. The midwife we saw last week said 50%. Either way, it is way too much. It's not the rate for first time moms. Its the overall rate. So, if I had another birth like my third, which was uncomplicated, it was just slow due to her positioning, I could guarantee a c-section. No. No. No. I am not opposed to lifesaving c-section, but the likelihood of a complicated birth, with ZERO drugs/interventions on a 5th baby, is very small.
No. 2: Your baby pretty much goes MIA for 9 hours after birth to the nursery. If you want to see them, feed them, you go to them. No.
No. 3: Some doctors here do not let you go past 39 weeks. I have always gone past 39 weeks and go as long as 41 weeks.
No. 4: General practice here is a lot of testing and telling patients what they will do, even if it isn't necessary. The mother can even fight it or balk. Ultrasounds at every visit, multiple overall labs done three to four times a pregnancy (it's done ONCE in the mainland). I am not making this up. I went to my "back up doctor" visit - I am not a fan of him, but we want a plan B - and he sent me away with another order for general overall labs and another ultrasound. He even told me, "This is how they do it in the states." To which I kindly said, "I've had four babies there and they don't. I have only ever had one set done in the beginning. Ever." He had the gall to argue with me. I knew I would be in a losing battle, so I shut my mouth and started my prayers for a smooth, healthy home birth because I really didn't want to see this man in labor. I later asked my midwife, "Do I have to do these things?" She shook her head, no. So I am sure I will have a doctor super thrilled with me next visit. We are not flying back to the US to have a baby. And I am not changing my mind.
No. 5: Fathers do not stay at the hospital with you. You share a room and children are not allowed to see the new baby in the hospital. Seriously?
No. 6. This is does not have an effect on our choice, but epidurals are not common here. That was my main reason for having my first three in the hospital...so take that off the books.
No. 7. Research has found that women that have had a previous, uncomplicated vaginal birth are actually safer to birth at home.
No. 8. It is safer for the baby to be born at home vs hospital because of bacteria. My Dad, who I thought would be a tough critic, was my surprising ally. He is an RN and said that the baby already has immunities to the bacteria in the home, whereas the baby and mother do not have those same immunities to things in the hospital. Jim Gaffigan, while hysterical talking about it, is spot on.
After our last eventful, uncomplicated birth, and expecting a baby on the island here, my soul started searching. And last week, we got our answer.
Home birth.
If I tell someone here why I am doing this, they look at me like I am from outer space. It is so foreign to many native Puerto Ricans. I have one neighbor that tried to scare me with the "what ifs" and "think of your family". Yes, thank you I have. Another neighbor said it was fantastic. I have a few friends that think it is amazing and others that think I should go back to the mainland to have the baby. I know it is intense. I have done this four times before. It is a process during which my mind focuses on the job that has to get done. It is normal, intense, and awesome when you look back.
Birth here is treated like a disease. Birth is treated like a disease most places. But here, exceptionally so. After research, I discovered several things that are not okay with hospital births here.
No. 1: C-section rate. I read 60 percent in a research paper. The midwife we saw last week said 50%. Either way, it is way too much. It's not the rate for first time moms. Its the overall rate. So, if I had another birth like my third, which was uncomplicated, it was just slow due to her positioning, I could guarantee a c-section. No. No. No. I am not opposed to lifesaving c-section, but the likelihood of a complicated birth, with ZERO drugs/interventions on a 5th baby, is very small.
No. 2: Your baby pretty much goes MIA for 9 hours after birth to the nursery. If you want to see them, feed them, you go to them. No.
No. 3: Some doctors here do not let you go past 39 weeks. I have always gone past 39 weeks and go as long as 41 weeks.
No. 4: General practice here is a lot of testing and telling patients what they will do, even if it isn't necessary. The mother can even fight it or balk. Ultrasounds at every visit, multiple overall labs done three to four times a pregnancy (it's done ONCE in the mainland). I am not making this up. I went to my "back up doctor" visit - I am not a fan of him, but we want a plan B - and he sent me away with another order for general overall labs and another ultrasound. He even told me, "This is how they do it in the states." To which I kindly said, "I've had four babies there and they don't. I have only ever had one set done in the beginning. Ever." He had the gall to argue with me. I knew I would be in a losing battle, so I shut my mouth and started my prayers for a smooth, healthy home birth because I really didn't want to see this man in labor. I later asked my midwife, "Do I have to do these things?" She shook her head, no. So I am sure I will have a doctor super thrilled with me next visit. We are not flying back to the US to have a baby. And I am not changing my mind.
No. 5: Fathers do not stay at the hospital with you. You share a room and children are not allowed to see the new baby in the hospital. Seriously?
No. 6. This is does not have an effect on our choice, but epidurals are not common here. That was my main reason for having my first three in the hospital...so take that off the books.
No. 7. Research has found that women that have had a previous, uncomplicated vaginal birth are actually safer to birth at home.
No. 8. It is safer for the baby to be born at home vs hospital because of bacteria. My Dad, who I thought would be a tough critic, was my surprising ally. He is an RN and said that the baby already has immunities to the bacteria in the home, whereas the baby and mother do not have those same immunities to things in the hospital. Jim Gaffigan, while hysterical talking about it, is spot on.
Tuesday, December 22, 2015
Homes in PR
So we have an awesome house in PR. It's very large (by my standards) around 2,800 sq ft. When you have a growing family of 7, I feel it is justified and perfect. (When it is clean I will post photos. So don't hold your breath.)
It is all tile and some of it is dated - from the 90s - and we have given it a facelift in some areas.
I really love it.
But, being a homeowner stinks.
We came home to cucarachas (cockroaches), bugs in most of our grains, and some other necessary, quick fixes.
We now have bug exterminator, a bunch of trashed food, and today we will have clean inverters (high efficiency-air conditioners).
AND I wish we had a dishwasher. I need a dishwasher. My children have finally started helping me, which makes it so much faster, but still, I would LOVE a dishwasher.
The problem is that the countertops are to shallow in depth to put a dishwasher by the sink. I am so tempted to extend the counter top (in a L shape) with butcher block or stainless steel covered plywood) to get that thing to fit better. We have space to extend it. We have corian (whatever they are - the fake, plastic stone). Can you cut this with out cracking the rest? Because seriously, it would be an "quick" awesome fix if we could.
Any ideas?
It is all tile and some of it is dated - from the 90s - and we have given it a facelift in some areas.
I really love it.
But, being a homeowner stinks.
We came home to cucarachas (cockroaches), bugs in most of our grains, and some other necessary, quick fixes.
We now have bug exterminator, a bunch of trashed food, and today we will have clean inverters (high efficiency-air conditioners).
AND I wish we had a dishwasher. I need a dishwasher. My children have finally started helping me, which makes it so much faster, but still, I would LOVE a dishwasher.
The problem is that the countertops are to shallow in depth to put a dishwasher by the sink. I am so tempted to extend the counter top (in a L shape) with butcher block or stainless steel covered plywood) to get that thing to fit better. We have space to extend it. We have corian (whatever they are - the fake, plastic stone). Can you cut this with out cracking the rest? Because seriously, it would be an "quick" awesome fix if we could.
Any ideas?
Wednesday, December 16, 2015
Learning Styles and Strengths
Homeschool is the ultimate way to learn about your children and their personal learning styles.
Child #1: definitely a "free spirit" kind of girl, yet mildly, she is a perfectionist. She is very intelligent when she wants to apply herself. Strengths are in science, social studies, and reading. She is good at math, but doesn't like it. She isn't exactly a follow the directions girl because she wants to figure it out herself. I am trying to explain to her that having directions isn't "cheating", it is learning to do it "right". This concept is slow in application, although today it was much better than yesterday.
Child #2: is a "get it done" kind of person. He does not like to "fail" or "lose". If his activities take him longer than he expects, he will have a melt down and there will be tears. He does not know how to lose graciously. For example, today, we were identifying nouns. This is above his first grade level, but I know it is not above his learning ability. So I challenged him. 21 minutes later and one big fit, he mastered the concept. But to him, it took him 19 minutes too long.
Meanwhile, child #3 was skating and falling all over the tile floors. She is going to be bruised tomorrow but her sheer will to learn helps her get up. Her determination astounds me sometimes and other times it confounds me. Either way, I am trying to embrace it all and go with who she is.
Child #4, is re-potty training after regressing the last few weeks. Yesterday was very successful, ZERO accidents. Today: we're hoping for another successful day.
Me: I finished my 8 month long kitchen painting project while the kids did HS around me. This may not have been the best use of our time but I couldn't look at that wall anymore! (Do you see a pattern with child #3? Oh yes, that one is MY child.)
I feel surprisingly patient with home school, which think is because we chose a curriculum that fit our family. I did not realize how important this was until THIS time around. This is a game changer for sure.
Child #1: definitely a "free spirit" kind of girl, yet mildly, she is a perfectionist. She is very intelligent when she wants to apply herself. Strengths are in science, social studies, and reading. She is good at math, but doesn't like it. She isn't exactly a follow the directions girl because she wants to figure it out herself. I am trying to explain to her that having directions isn't "cheating", it is learning to do it "right". This concept is slow in application, although today it was much better than yesterday.
Child #2: is a "get it done" kind of person. He does not like to "fail" or "lose". If his activities take him longer than he expects, he will have a melt down and there will be tears. He does not know how to lose graciously. For example, today, we were identifying nouns. This is above his first grade level, but I know it is not above his learning ability. So I challenged him. 21 minutes later and one big fit, he mastered the concept. But to him, it took him 19 minutes too long.
Meanwhile, child #3 was skating and falling all over the tile floors. She is going to be bruised tomorrow but her sheer will to learn helps her get up. Her determination astounds me sometimes and other times it confounds me. Either way, I am trying to embrace it all and go with who she is.
Child #4, is re-potty training after regressing the last few weeks. Yesterday was very successful, ZERO accidents. Today: we're hoping for another successful day.
Me: I finished my 8 month long kitchen painting project while the kids did HS around me. This may not have been the best use of our time but I couldn't look at that wall anymore! (Do you see a pattern with child #3? Oh yes, that one is MY child.)
I feel surprisingly patient with home school, which think is because we chose a curriculum that fit our family. I did not realize how important this was until THIS time around. This is a game changer for sure.
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